Thursday, January 13, 2011

Thursday's Thoughts :)

Hey friends! So, this may be a long one...but a good one, so get excited.

I am going to start with my exercise tip for the week/day/whatever. Since a lot of people are trapped indoors in the wretched DMV blizzard of 2010 (please note sarcasm), many are stuck using the treadmill or elliptical to get their cardio exercise in. To save myself from the inevitable boredom of those machines for more than 10 minutes, I have come up with a couple of interval routines that pass the time quite well! Also, many people don't challenge themselves to their fullest...they don't test how much resistance they can handle, or how much speed they can push through...this workout will test both!

For the elliptical:
Start at your baseline resistance: 7 (for example)
- 1 minute: 7
- 2 minutes: 9
- 1 minute: 8
- 2 minutes: 10

So here I am going up 2 levels, down 1 level. Continue this pattern until you have reached the highest resistance you can manage...then work your way back down :)

For the treadmill:
Start at your baseline speed: 6.0 mph (for example)
- 1 minute: 6
- 2 minutes: 6.3
- 1 minute: 6.2
- 2 minutes: 6.5
- 1 minute: 6.4
- 2 minutes: 6.7

So here I am going up .3 and down .1, so the intensity on this interval is more intense. You can also do 30 seconds, 1 min 30 seconds, or 2 minute intervals. You can also go up .5, down .3. Play around with it!! Either way, you are switching up the speed and always increasing your stamina :) Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~ second section of wonderful, long blog begins.... now!

Again, with the new year comes a lot of new years resolutions to diet, be healthy, be happier, etc. I have noticed that some of these resolutions include cutting back on alcohol for dietary reasons...and because it is for dietary reasons and not the reasons I cut back for, I've realized I am sort of defensive or sensitive to the issue, I guess. Let me explain...I know someone who cut back for a diet, and someone else made a comment about how hard that would be. Now because (as a means to solidify and stick with my decision) I view alcohol use in a different light now, I immediately took offense to have comment and began to think about how it shouldn't be hard for people and how it shouldn't only be considered a dietary issue. But then I immediately (okay maybe not so immediately cause I am still me...more like a couple days later) got myself back in check and remembered the wise advice I received "just because you have a headache, doesn't mean the rest of the world has to take an aspirin". I remembered that my decision and my experience with alcohol is very unique to me, and if nothing else, I should be supportive of someone trying to better their health! I know that none of this information is new (in my blogs) but I did realize that this will always be an issue for me. For as long as I have created a mindset towards drinking (necessary to keep me on track), I will be faced with the opposing views of everyone else...and the only thing I can do is NOT judge. In the way that I don't want anyone to judge me for not drinking...I most definitely do not want to catch myself judging others for appreciating alcohol and enjoying drinks. You just do you..imma do me ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ third section to this long, yet fabulous, blog!

(this is for all the ladies who have been in a not-so-hot's not you!)

After moving forward with my life (post-abusive relationship), I've noticed a few instances where something I was told during that time was affecting my current life (e.g. no one would love the real me). Now usually these thoughts enter my little, always processing, mind and cause tears, some anxiety, some self-doubt...and then a large reality check, that THIS doubt is a product of THAT crap. Anyways, I had another realization of the "aftermath" the other day...and I believe this is a thought for many women so I hope to help someone through this blog.

The other day I became upset about something small, but upset nonetheless. My love was able to handle the conversation rationally, talk through what I was feeling, and we settled it (perfect, right?). Well, as I was laying in bed, I thought to myself..."wow, it's so great that HE CAN HANDLE ME". "He Can Handle Me"...meaning I am such a handful/crazy lady/stress that only few men can "deal" with being with me as a girlfriend. THIS thought comes from men telling women that the women are "lucky" to be with them because THEY are the onnnnnnly men that can "handle them". This becomes ingrained in our minds...that what we do, our emotions, our thoughts, our problems with life or the relationship are ridiculous, unwarranted, unjustified, and draining. Now I won't discount that some (maybe more than some, haha) issues that women bring up are draining for men...but in a relationship, it is important that both parties are happy and I do think that most men have realized what it takes (emotionally) to have that balance. But this concept...that this man is the only one that can handle you is, first of all, just a way to keep you around because now you feel alone and that he is the only option in the word, and, second of all, a way to completely break you down and doubt every thought you have.

So what did I do...?

I changed my thought. My boyfriend is great...but not because he "handles me", but because he is capable of having conversations, good at staying calm if I am upset, and tries to understand my concerns. I think that framing your significant other in those terms, is MUCH better than believing that he can "handle you". You do not need to be "handled" or "tolerated" need to be loved, appreciated, and understood. for thought. If you notice yourself thinking that you have to find someone who can "handle you" (deal with, tolerate, whatever) or you are lucky because your boyfriend can handle you...please think about what you are saying about yourself. Would you want to "handle" someone else? No. Do other people in your lives (your friends and family) complain about having to tolerate you? No. Then don't let a stupid man convince you otherwise.

You're beautiful :) (men and women!)


being able to handle me"...wrong way to view it. aftermath of a crap bf


  1. Hi. I really love your blog. I’ll be sure to follow you! Keep blogging and visit my blog, I have 76 days today. Follow me and/or contribute a few words of wisdom on the page on Spiritual Experiences or comment on any page. I’d love to hear your experience with a higher power! Thanks!

  2. Yeah, I had that kind of boyfriend for four fucking miserable years. They break you down to keep you around because they are so pathetic they know it's the only way someone as awesome as we are would want to be with them! I'm happy you're out of a horrible relationship and with someone mature and loving (as am I!).

  3. Thank you! I am glad you were able to move on as well. It takes strong women :)