Thursday, June 23, 2011

Time isn't the is the excuse.

24 hours in a day. 1/3 - 1/4 of that spent sleeping. That leaves you with 3/4 of the day (18 hours). You probably work 8-9 hours...commute 1 hour...leaving you with 9 hours. And then dinner and breakfast, maybe subtract 3 hours. So you are left with 6 hours. And how long does a workout take? 45 minutes? Plus a warm-up/cool down...1 hour. And maybe another hour added to get to the gym and back, or put on your gym clothes. That's 2 hours. And you want to tell me that you don't have time to exercise? I am sorry but I just don't believe that. Time isn't the problem, it is the excuse.

Yes, time is hard to come by with competing priorities in your life, but is it impossible? NO! Could you work your schedule out to fit it in? YES! So why don't you? Well...most people aren't going to fit something they dislike into their schedule if they don't have to! So what do you do? FIND SOMETHING YOU ENJOY! I cannot reiterate this enough! You must find an activity you love...something that makes you feel good afterward...something that you want to stick with...something you can do with others...something!

This is sort of a ramble, and I apologize...but I am currently distracted by Justin Bieber on the View, haha. But, in conclusion, time isn't the is the excuse. You can find time, you can MAKE time, but you need to want it. You need to believe its important. You need to see the benefits of it. You need to love it. And I PROMISE you can find something you love :)


Thursday, June 16, 2011


Anxiety. Do you suffer from it in some way?

I wonder if anxiety has become more prevalent because of social media and being competitive damn americans. Now your entire life (if you want it to be) can be posted for the world to there is a constant strive to be the best, look your best, be doing the most interesting things, be hanging out with the coolest people, and to be succeeding in all the right ways. And what about when you meet someone for the first time...what do they ask you? What do you do and where do you live? Both status questions. And what do people ask you when you are in a relationship? Have you talked about getting married or moving in together? No wonder we are any given moment someone is going to track your life, ask you a tough question, and then analyze your answers and make some conclusions/opinions about you.

But are all people as evil and competitive as I make them seem? Probably not. Your biggest critic will always be you. You will over analyze the job you have, you will dwell on your appearance, you will critique your relationship and compare it to everyone elses, and you will wonder if at the end of the day, you are the best you can be. And YOU will create all the unnecessary guilt and anxiety that comes along with negative conclustions to all of those assessments.

This week I have been trying to think less about my eating and just listen to my body and appreciate food, life, and everything else (this relates to the first part of this blog, I swear). And then one night I was home alone (when the usual overeating occurs) and I ate dinner, ate snack, ate dessert, and (obviously) felt like complete crap afterward. I immediately started thinking about the next could I make this up...well I will eat nothing but egg whites and fruit, I will go to the gym twice...oh screw it, it doesn't matter, I already messed it, I will make it up tomorrow, just keep eating now. This is the internal dialogue. Followed by...crap, I am going to the beach this weekend, what will I look like in a bathing suit, I've gained weight since the last time I wore a bathing suit, maybe I shouldn't eat much for the rest of the week, I heard sweet potatoes suck in your excess water, what if I can't run every day at the beach. And this was more internal dialogue. And then I made it stop. I grabbed a pen...wrote down these thoughts...wrote down more rational thoughts...and finished with the actual reality of the situation. I am my biggest critic. I allow the anxiety to complete consume me and determine my lifes actions. And when it comes down to it, no one will really care how I look in a bathing suit, it won't matter this weekend if I ate crap this week, and I am healthy.

Not 100% sure where I am going with this post...except to vent about anxiety and hope that maybe my struggles resonate with others. It's hard. It seems stupid to say but it is hard to be a 20 something girl in a city full of other 20 somethings who are just as smart and beautiful...and it is hard to keep a strong hold on your confidence and remember your unique talents and the aspects of you that make you who you are. And I bet it only gets we will be mothers, in cities full of other mothers who are healthy, successful, great mothers, "superwomen", and maintaining their 20 something body. So I would imagine that now is probably a good time to start working on the issue of comparing myself...and starting to be my biggest fan instead of my biggest critic. Yup, that is it. Time to be my biggest fan.

You should be yours too.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Reflection. Why look anywhere else?

Through my career in public health I have heard the same phrase as a solution for any programmatic questions..."It Depends." Why? Because preventing health issues is unique to each individual, each community, each problem...the same overall theories can apply and the same golden rules will stand, but each program has to be tailored to its audience.

So.. (as per usual), I reflected on how this realization applied to my personal life...and it does...

I have recently been reading a lot of "self help" books and stories about other people who sought out happiness. And while I gained motivation and courage through them and realized that I am not alone in some of my issues, I now realize that "it depends"...on me. I cannot read someone elses books and expect that what worked for them will work for me. So where should I look? MY BLOG! And so...

Recently I have been stressed with my on going issue with my body and my obsession with what I eat and how much I exercise. And really more angry and fed up than anything...exhausted (I am pretty sure I have discussed this in past blogs). So I began thinking...when I quit drinking I decided that a good reason to stop was because alcohol was not bringing anything positive to my life...and those situations involving alcohol that were positive would have existed with or without the drug. SO..I quit. I quit because there was no reason to continue doing something that was not bringing positive things to my life. So why should I continue thinking the way that I do about my body and about eating? What positive is coming from it? When I dwell and obsess I very rarely change that much in my weight or appearance...and even if I do, so what? What have I benefited from losing weight? Absolutely nothing. If anything, when I am too small, I receive negative feedback and am tired. If I continue to dwell on calories and feel a constant feeling of guilt when I eat something "bad", what good will from this? Nothing.

So why continue? I know that it isn't an easy switch to flip and it takes time to change an entire thought process and because I suffer from anxiety, it is even harder. But an important realization that I made was that NOTHING will change if I stop obsessing. Nothing important in my life will change. My relationships will continue (and probably be stronger because I won't sneak around and eat, and I won't get cranky when I've eaten too much), my career and performance will not change, my boyfriend will not leave me (and trust me, I went so far as to ask!), my perceived image as a fitness enthusiast and expert will still exist, and because I know I am a healthy person I know I will not completely 180 and end up morbidly obsese. Now I know that all of those things are very obvious to most people, but for me...that reality needed to be stated out loud...I needed to understand and realize that ZERO good was coming from what I was doing. I believe that there was a point when watching the scale decrease and being too small for my clothes made me feel better about myself and accomplished...but that doesn't exist any more. I still weigh myself and feel slightly crappy if I've gained weight but the scale has pretty much stayed at the same weight for 6 who cares!

So anyways...the point of this rambling was that YOU are your best resource and your best example. Start a journal. Write down your thoughts and most importantly, write down when you feel the best about yourself so that when times get hard you can go back and read what you wrote. Reflect on how you've handled situations in the past and see if they can apply to new issues that you face. You are unique and while Eat Pray Love is a great book, moving to Bali may not solve your problems.

I really hope that this new outlook is a new chapter in my life. Its never too late, right? ;) I hope this mainly because I am exhausted from the guilt and stress of my problem...but also because I am about to enter one of the toughest moments in my life so far (doctoral program), and I refuse to let this weigh me down and distract me when I need to be focusing.

I hope that my insights help you and I hope that you reflect. Look at that man/woman in the mirror :)


Friday, June 3, 2011

Just Be.

I have been at my job now for 11 months…and every day I walk past the UPS drop box..every single day I walk the same way into the building and pass this box…when do you think I noticed it? Yesterday! And only because I needed to use it. I actually searched online for UPS drop boxes and was slightly embarrassed when the location of my work popped up! Now why haven’t I noticed it, you might ask? Because I am always preoccupied! When I walk into work I am either emailing, texting, checking Facebook, or checking Words with Friends. I am never just walking into work and just taking in the moment and my surroundings…

SO! Here is my challenge for you this weekend…LIVE IN THE MOMENT….take in your surroundings, be mindful of the people around you and the places you go. Put down the phone. Turn off the TV. Go for a walk and just look and think and breathe and BE. I bet you will notice things you never saw before and maybe appreciate things you didn’t notice :)