I can say with complete confidence that running keeps me balanced, happy, and (possibly) sane. Earlier this day I was in a bit of a funk...as I stated in my earlier blog, I have been struggling with gaining weight..and today it was having an effect on my mood. I think anyone who has had eating issues will forever have them...and they only become harder when you are coming to terms with gaining weight. Regardless of what anyone tells me, accepting being of a healthy weight and not the stick I was over the summer, is something that I will have to do myself...I do believe that it isn't impossible...but it will take time...and continual personal growth.
However...in the midst of this funk, I decided to go for a run outside. The first run outside in at least three weeks...the first run outside with melting snow on the ground...and the first run in a long time that has made me feel completely whole and happy. As soon as my feet hit the ground, the cold wind blew against my face, the Bob Marley Pandora mix played on my headphones, and the puddles of melting snow hit my calves...I felt calm, collected, and in a pleasant state of euphoria. With the cold weather I have been trapped running on a treadmill, and coming off of an injury I have been running shorter distances...but today, I was free. I felt like a pup that had been caged and was finally able to run outside and play. I sprinted up and down hills, I dodged puddles and ice patches, I sang along to the relaxing tunes of reggae, I smiled at other runners and received compliments from the local homeless....all of these things turned my funk into pure bliss. And to top it off...the sun started to set on my way home....in my last half a mile I stared at the gorgeous orange sun set over the DC trees. This, my friends, is my happy place.
Now I understand that running isn't for everyone...but I would like to encourage everyone to find a "happy place" for them that doesn't involve alcohol. I know that it is hard when you are upset, tired, bored, really anything..not to drink to pass the time and emotions. But when you find an activity (be that running, cooking, reading, yoga, etc) it can be an amazing remedy for the "not so hot" feeling. So take a moment and think of something you enjoy...something that relaxes you...and go do it..you deserve it!
Lastly...last night I went to a great party with some of my most fabulous friends and saw some of these gorgeous, smart, funny girls letting boys (not men) and alcohol ruin their night. I know a big part of being upset was being drunk...but I'd like to reinforce to every girl reading this...you are beautiful. You are strong, you are funny, you are smart, you are independent, and no boy is worth your tears...and more importantly NO boy should ever make you question any of this attributes. Unfortunately, girls get a lot of their confidence from guys liking them...unfortunately, most parties serve the purpose of finding a guy or girl to like, and unfortunately, the number of worthless asshole guys seems to increase as the days go by. It takes very strong girls to realize that they are worth a lot, and to brush off any guy that doesn't agree....it takes very strong girls to love themselves regardless of love from anyone else...and it takes very strong girls to do what makes them happy and be who they want to be. Do it. At the end of the day, it is you...no one else...that looks in the mirror and reflects on your day and how you spent it....make the most of each day with things YOU want to do and things you care about. Make yourself happy. :)
Now I know this is coming from the girl who started this blog saying she was upset about her weight (thus not practicing what I preach) BUT outside of this small issue, I have learned over the year to be happy with myself, surround myself with people that are happy with me, and to continue to make myself happier. It's hard work...it's a different mind set...but it can be done. Love yourself :)
XOXO
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