Monday, August 2, 2010

Squashing the Chatter

Hey friends,

Okay, so I have heard a ton of different things about me recently and some assumptions on why I am doing it or how I feel or, I am going to make some finalized statements and hope that people can just be happy for me instead of trying to find some negative aspect of everything.
1. I am NOT anorexic. I did not quit drinking to lose weight. I did not quit drinking so I could workout more. I eat. And if you have known me over the course of the past 5 years, you will realize that I eat more than I have before and am I less worried about what I eat, etc, etc. Please understand that I am small, my family is small, and by cutting out drinking (a HUGE consumption on weekends and some weekdays) I lost excess weight. As for the exercising, I am doing a bunch of races and I am training for them like every other person that does races trains for them (probably even less). And I love boxing. Again, if you have known me over the course of the past 5 years you will realize that I am not as OCD about exercise and I do not do two a days or hurt myself for it. I ENJOY EXERCISE. Maybe that is hard to believe for some people, but I find a sense of happiness from it (read previous blog!). I am healthy, people...
2. I do not care if other people drink. I am not judging anyone, and you don't need to watch what you say or do around me. If I leave somewhere early it's either because I am tired or people are kind of not making sense anymore...but I am not judging them! Like I have said over and over again, I am jealous of people that can handle themselves...but that's not me, and I am happy with my decision, and I am aware that it is MY decision and no one elses.
3. I am happy. This is not a phase, this is not me trying to get attention, this is not anything else you can think of. This is me changing something about myself that I have struggled with and dealt with the consequences of for years and years...and I am HAPPY. Honestly very happy with my decision. And I have no idea if I will ever drink again...for now, probably not.

So please, just trust me on all of those things. If you want, I will eat a lot of food in front of you or something. Although I am lactose intolerant so that limits a lot of stuff anyways...haha. But seriously, I am fine, I am healthy, I go to the doctor and if they tell me I am too small then I promise I will do something about it.

Just be happy for me...that's all I ask :)


PS- When I was anorexic my mom sat me down and had a talk with me and said she was worried about me and I looked emaciated, etc. My mom has seen me like 100 times since I quit drinking and has never said anything except that I am in good shape. So trust me, if anyone was going to recognize I had a problem, it would be my mother.

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