Friday, August 13, 2010

8 Months!!

Today is my 8 month anniversary of being sober :) Also Friday the 13th but I will ignore that. I've decided I need to think of something to do on each anniversary. I would say treat myself to something but I am broke, and I don't want to necessarily reward myself for it...this isn't like a reward type of an accomplishment. More like I should do something that I couldn't do had I still been drinking...or reflect on how wonderful the past months of sobriety have been. I guess this morning I had a good workout, which I wouldn't have done had I been drinking with my friends last night. And now I will reflect :)

So for...in the past 8 months, I have not had one regret of my decision, not a single one :) I have had just as much fun, if not more fun!, at every thing that I have done (involving others drinking or not). It has made me realize a TON about myself, a ton about my friends, a TON about society as a whole. I've experienced a concert sober, Las Vegas sober, beach trip sober, tons of bars sober, hooking up sober, Weddings sober, bachelorette parties sober, holidays sober, and the least goes on and on. ALL of these things are things that some people could never imagine doing sober nor would they ever want to. But in all honestly, everything was still just as fun! I know things would have been different had I been drinking but other than people getting a tad annoying by the end of the night, nothing was different. Over the past 8 months I have struggled to find new hobbies since everything I did before involved drinking and I felt kind of lost and like a loser. But I have realized that I have always had hobbies and those hobbies have actually stayed the same...some of them have a different appeal to them, but they are still the same. I have always enjoyed being active, I have always enjoyed my friends, and I have always enjoyed music...and I still partake in all of those activities..I just have the luxury of remembering everything the next day (sometimes, my memory still does suck!). I guess now I am to the point where I don't realize that I "don't drink", but I realize that others do. Like, it is no longer a concern to me that I don't drink when I go somewhere and I am not really thinking about how I am the outsider when I am at a bar or something...but, I have noticed that others are still distracted by it or concerned by it. So trust me, I don't feel weird, I don't dislike you for drinking...just do you because that's why I like you and am hanging out with you :)

In conclusion (yea 8th grade English class writing techniques!), I am very happy about who I have become and what I have learned over the past 8 months, and I am even more excited to figure out more things about life and about myself in the next 8 months. I have realized that while my friends are aware of my decision, the rest of the world isn't...and this decision is never going to go on the back burner of life. I will be confronted by my decision forever, at social events, at my wedding, meeting new people, when I have kids...and at all these moments I will have to reassess why I made the decision, decide how to explain my decision or defend myself, how to explain instead of preach...and I hope that at each of those moments, I reflect on this moment and remember how happy I am and remind myself that the life I lived prior to December 13, 2009 was stressful, unhealthy, unhappy, and dangerous...and the life I live now is none of those things (well maybe stressful because that is life and maybe dangerous because I am a bad driver..haha).

Cheers :) Life is too short to be anything but happy. Do what makes you happy and those that love you and like you for you, will continue to stick by your side.

XOXO
Blue

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