Friday, February 11, 2011

Did my OCD with exercising and weight really save my life?

Recently I was thinking about my sort of "OCD"-esque (obsessive compulsive disorder) attitude towards exercising (and eating healthy for the most part)and how people are always surprised by my dedication and early morning workouts, etc...and I was sort of questioning whether I was completely sane ;) when I realized that this attitude may have saved my life. I am 99% sure I would have binge drank myself to a black out state of mind (or lack of mind)most days of the week if I wasn't so dedicated to working out and didn't want to consume the extra "wasted" calories...

In fact, I specifically remember a conversation I had with an old friend in college when we actually said that we would drink every night and go out partying IF it wouldn't make us fat. Now please keep in mind that I am not talking about restraining from having a couple drinks with dinner each night because of weight paranoia...because I can understand 1. Why people would like a drink each night to unwind, and 2. Why people wouldn't want the extra calories from drinking each night. But what I am talking about is getting out blacked out wasted. And the fact that the my JOB, school, relationships, family, etc were not among the top reasons why I felt like binge drinking wasn't a great idea is quite terrifying. The fact that I could rationalize getting completely wasted at night as long as I was "functional" for work the next day is sad. So, in the end...I am glad that my slight obsession with body image kept my drinking in check. Because if it hadn't, I am not sure what would have happened to me.

Which only makes me terrified for the day when they come out with an alcoholic beverage that is calorie free and potentially hangover free...because I have a feeling that my friend and I aren't the only girls out there who allow "body" to control their drinking habits rather than drunk actions/regret/humiliation/careers/school/friends/ know...important things in life.

But everything is a learning experience right? If it wasn't for my passion and dedication to exercise and healthy eating, who knows what cards I would be dealt right now. And through that passion I have continued to race and meet to friends and start workout groups, and most importantly...motivate others!

This blog wasn't intend to reflect on the negative in a bad light, but more so to just reflect. It is interesting now to look back at who I was and realize how my outlook and actions have changed. And if nothing else, I hope that others can read this and reflect on how exercising and a healthy lifestyle has benefited them and different aspects of their lives without them realizing.


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