Monday, October 11, 2010

Retired Drinker

Definition of RETIRE
intransitive verb
: to withdraw from action or danger : retreat
: to withdraw from one's position or occupation : conclude one's working or professional career

So I was thinking about the perception of not drinking (which, as you know, I have struggling with and debated on for a while now), and I think I like the label "retired drinker". [Note- the first definition is pretty self explanatory and completely appropriate, so I will not explain that one] As opposed to saying I quit drinking or don't drink anymore. Obviously in an ideal world no one would pass judgments on other people's decisions and I know that in order to embrace individual change and stick with it, I need to be confident in my decision and my actions...BUT, I also need to understand that people do judge and make their own ideas about people, and first impressions do mean a lot. (Note- this is not stemming from anyone judging me, that I am aware of, this is just me over-analyzing what other people think about me)

I think that saying "I quit drinking" gives a sort of negative vibe to my views on drinking...which could be perceived as me having negative views on drinking all together, which I don't...I just don't think its a good idea for me. And I think saying that "I don't drink" could lead someone (who clearly didn't know me haha) to believe that I am opposed to drinking all together and never have drank...and that is not true. I think retired is a lighthearted term...and really more true for my life. I sometimes referred to myself as a professional drinker (I guess to rationalize to myself that blacking out was prestigious and I got hammered just because I was THAT good at taking shots...ohh life...), so you could view my drinking as somewhat of a career/hobby/sport for me. And over the years I've become tired from the game, I have gone as far as I can with the career (milestones include getting arrested, blacking out, getting in car accidents, getting alcohol get the idea..), I've held various positions as a professional drinker (beer drinker, liquor drinker, drunk party girl, sad emotional mess, sick girl, beer buddy, drinking companion, peer pressure-er, etc), and I have trained those around me to be as knowledgeable on drinking and efficient as I was. And in December, I decided it was about that time for me to retire. To hang up my shot glasses and put away the flask, and relax for the remainder of my life. I put in a solid 10 years of work into the sport/career, perfected some areas of it, learned as much as I could about most of it, and completely gave my social life (and well-being) to it. In fact, I think alcohol around the world should thank me for the dedication I put in towards their livelihood, and the passion I conveyed in my execution of the job.

So I hope this puts into better light my views on drinking...and my comfortableness towards the activity and everything about it.


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