Thursday, June 10, 2010

Potential for the Positive vs. Negative

Luckily I have calmed down and brightened up since my last blog :) And today I came to some, not answers but lets say..., responses to my issues from last blog. I realized that my fear of failure is because I focus on the potential negative outcomes of my actions instead of the potential positive outcomes. And this stems from also being a "people pleaser" aka pushover and wanting others to view me in a positive light all the time. So for example...with drinking, when I would try and stop drinking I would think, "Well, what is the harm in one drink?", and the answer is "nothing", and "I'm worried if I don't drink then I will upset my friends and let them down". But instead I want to have an outlook of, "Well what is the positive impact of having one drink?", "nothing", and "If I do not drink then I will be happier with myself". I think this is a really good outlook for people who are trying to stop drinking and HAVE seen some positive results from it...because many times we are faced with situations where you just want to have one drink to relax, or fit in, or join in the fun, or because you feel socially pressured..and instead of thinking "what is the harm?", think "what is the good?". When I ask myself what good will come from drinking I immediately think "nothing" because the drunk me is out of control and does regretable things and that is not the life I want anymore. It is an interesting way to look at things (and chances are the rest of the world already does this haha, but my negative nancy ass is a step behind the rest) and I think it is putting my world in a brighter light.

So related to work...instead of saying "If I try to work on this project alone I might fail and be embarrassed and disappoint the bosses"....say "If I try to work on this project alone I may succeed and it may lead to a promotion". Get it? Fun little exercise, huh?

So now I am going to go off into the world with this, hopefully ever lasting, since of positivity and challenge myself to be more than I am. There will always be an excuse for everything but I believe that its when you overcome the excuses that you are really accomplished. Life is all about taking risks, and for 25 years I have avoided them...I have known deep down that I have the potential to conquer the risks, but the fear of public failure has always been to great. But I think that by quitting drinking, which is the one thing that everyone in our society does, I have already embraced public failure by fearing that I would potential be viewed as a loser or lame (which maybe I am to some), but overall that risk was a success in the end and that in and of itself should hopefully give me the strength I need to carry that confidence into the other weak and scared parts of my life.

Focus on the positive and don't be scared..because even if you fall and hit rock bottom, you can always get back up.


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