Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What are hobbies??

One of the first things I realized when I stopped drinking was that I had no hobbies. Basically, ever since college everything that I have done has been related to drinking. Even when my friends and I would go to museums, we’d drink before….movies= drink before…dating= drink before…concerts= drink before…well, you get the point. And not to say that there is anything wrong with having a couple drinks before a fun event, but for me…these couple drinks led to blacking out. I actually used to enjoy going to concerts because I liked the music and because I loved dancing to live music…but recently, I have been blacked out for the main performances and don’t even remember anything from the concerts other then getting drunk. Which is a very upsetting realization to come to…my only hobby is drinking and I no longer enjoy things unless I am drunk. It made me feel as though I had lost myself…somehow I lost sight of the things that I used to enjoy and supplemented that feeling of enjoyment with alcohol, which obviously gives a false sense of enjoyment (or slightly altered I guess).

So…my first step (I’ve been racking my brain for a term other than “Recovering Alcoholic” and I can’t think of one…sooo, I will remain un-labeled, haha) was to find some hobbies. I have to say that finding hobbies when you are 25 years old is kind of hard/a tad embarrassing. I do love music, comedy and being active…but shows tend to cost money (which I don’t have)…and events tend to involve lots of drinking. So, thus far I have stuck with the being active hobby and have become really interested in boxing and martial arts.

I will have to say that my support from my friends with all of this has been amazing. A ton of people have said that they would love to do sober activities with me, and are also looking into cutting back on their drinking as well. So thank you all!!! I do think that this will only get harder though…I managed to make it through Christmas, New Years Eve, a bachelorette party, and a funeral….but all of those posed some mental struggles in their own way. For the most part the struggle is within myself…because I feel as though people are looking at me weird because I am not drinking or questioning why I am denying a glass of wine, when in reality, I highly doubt they even care. Secondly, I am jealous. After a couple of drinks, you realize that people are laughing at things that aren’t really funny and acting a fool for no reason…and I wish that I could be on their level of enjoyment…and it’s a struggle to rationalize why I shouldn’t. But so far…I have done well! Now I can only imagine what the rest of the year will bring me….(trips, concerts, birthdays, and weddings, OH MY!)

I guess I’ll get back to work. But please keep checking my blog and I’ll keep updating you on my awesome (totally unaltered) life, haha. And let me know if you have any hobby suggestions!! Reading was boring…I am not super artistic…and I don’t have a lot of money…and doing active things a lot is a strain on the body!

XOXO Blue.

1 comment:

  1. Erica,

    First, I want to thank you for enduring my bachelorette party with me. I realize it was difficult to be around but it made me very happy to have you celebrating with me.

    Second, since you are focused on being more active I want to invite you to join our running group. We are doing a 10K the week before the wedding on April 18th. Myself, Paul, my mom and Kristin are all doing it. I know you are actually a pretty good runner already, but for the rest of us this is a strugle, so maybe you can offer us some pointers!

    I wish you continued luck and I will always be here to support you!