Wednesday, July 21, 2010

SSSF seeking SSSM??

Single, Sober, Sexy Female seeking...a single, sober, sexy male?!? I wonder how this will play out.

So being recently single and the first time single since I have quit drinking, I am a tad scared on how it will be perceived by guys...guys my guys. I have been asking around and so far the consensus from my guy friends has been that if a guy thinks it's a turn off or weird that I don't drink, then I probably wouldn't want him. Which seems correct, BUT are they just saying that to be nice? How should I approach this? Clearly I would avoid "going out for drinks" as a first date. But once the situation arises where drinking is a factor (basically everything in the world other than exercising...scratch that, hashing involves yes, everything in the world), what do I say? "Um I am just going to have a water, I am not drinking tonight".(then what do I do if there is a second date??).."Um I am just going to have a diet coke, I don't drink anymore". Then the questions arises, why? Because I can see saying something along the lines of, well I am getting older and thought it would be a good time to cut back...that makes sense, BUT that is cutting back, not cutting off. I feel as though, cutting off completely is obvious that I couldn't handle drinking and quit cold turkey. So do I say that up front, "Um I quit because getting drunk wasn't really working out for me anymore"...still, cutting back would work in that situation...sooo basically the response would be "Um I quit because I couldn't handle drinking anymore and felt it was best if I just didn't have alcohol period." And THAT, my friends, is a red flag for someone with a drinking I don't know if guys think this way, but do you want to start a relationship with someone that right off the bat has issues and could pass alcoholism on to your children??

I think I'd prefer if I dated someone that already knew my deal. Maybe if I friend explained what I was doing with my life so that I didn't have to. Or I guess I really need to own my decision. I think that their perception on my decision will be based a lot on my execution of the reasoning. So if I own my decision and say confidently that drinking wasn't working out and I didn't want to do it anymore but I am fine if other people drink casually (not heavily) and that it has worked out really well for me thus far, that could go over well and show some signs of independence, maturity, blah blah. BUT, if I awkwardly say that I quit because I was just not handling myself anymore and made some bad decisions and am weird about it...theeen that doesn't come off super great. And I am quit fearful that my dumb, awkward ass will do the latter.

Also...considering what alcohol has done to my family, myself and people I care about, I would honestly prefer a guy that HARDLY drank. Maybe a couple beers at tailgates, parties or whatever. But not someone that even drinks every time we go out to dinner. I feel like this is going to be a VERY hard thing to find.

So...for my trusty followers...get excited because my blog will hopefully take an exciting turn into the world of sober dating and I can fill you all in on the trials and tribulations. :) And I haven't even touched on how AWKWARD dating will probably be without that lovely alcoholic cushion!! But alas another day, another blog my friends.


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